There’s a difference between people who live whole heartedly, and people who do not.
Research interviews on the topics of vulnerability and joy were held with people who have survived traumas that I can’t even wrap my head around; genocide, the loss of a child.
Below are 3 things the researcher learned from them:
1. After the trauma part of their healing when they reflected back, what the researcher heard over and over again from the people is “it’s not that I miss the extraordinary moments now that they’re gone, what I really grieve for the most are the ordinary moments, that I never paid attention to when they were here… “If I could only hear my wife complaining in the kitchen about the wrong brand of bread I bought” or “hearing the kids fighting in the backyard” or “my mom died. She never really understood how texting worked and she would send me the craziest things and I didn’t understand them. I never looked at my phone and thought; my moms trying hard to reach out.” …she said she would kill to get one more text like that.
2. The interviewer asked, “How do we hold more compassion and space for you?” The answer over and over again was: “If I could see you being grateful for what you have, that helps me heal because when you honour what you have, you honour what I’ve lost.”
3. Don’t squander Joy. Hard things are going to happen, planning for them and anticipating them will not change that and it won’t make it hurt any less. It’s our tolerance for vulnerability that dictates how joyful of a life we can lead.
These moments we have everyday are the moments we have to stop and be very grateful. This is one of the differences between people who live whole heartedly and those who don’t.
Perhaps when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is think of 3 things you’re grateful for… they do not need to be grand, just allow them to be sincere. The key here is to not JUST think of the things, people or places you’re grateful for, but to also FEEL into them. Let the powerful, elevated emotion of gratitude fill your heart, and let it radiate throughout your entire being.
Then throughout the day, as often as you remember, tune into gratitude… gratitude for this day, for all of your resources, for your powerful body and its ability to heal and regenerate, for the roof over your head, for the device you’re reading this on, for your breath, for your loved ones and beyond.
Finally, continue this practice right before you close your eyes and move into the sleep state. Think of and FEEL 3 things you’re grateful for from the day or anything else that inspires you. Continue this practice for the next 30 days and see how your life, mindset and perception shifts!
Often, when something seems “too simple or “too easy” we tend to think it’s not useful.
The truth is, it’s those little things, repeated daily, that create a habit.
This habit over time starts to recalibrate your nervous system – and over time changes you.
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